Ryan Dempster! You Douche bag!
I loved you! I stood by you even when you were the worst (not worst, just most heart wrecking) closer ever! Last season I drafted you in my redraft league... In like the 20th round! Way early! And well Ryan, you were instrumental in me coming in 3rd in that league! 3rd! (everyone Im happy about third!) And if you would have had the chance (Ryan) you would have won that league for me, but that mothertrucking hurricane took away your start in the playoffs (fantasy playoffs) and crapola I lost that week by like 3 points (stupid fantasy points leagues!) Now though, now you broke your toe... Your TOE! Jumping over a fence to celebrate a win. DAMNIT RYAN this was a TWO start week for you... I was counting on you! Just like I was counting on you in the playoffs (real playoffs) last year (captain walks alot!) Why do you hurt me! A toe! REALLY A TOE!
Next time please... PLEASE, buy some drinks! Ill pay! No jumpy jumpy over the fence, just drinky drinky! Ok?
Honestly! Your toe!
Thank god! Thank baby Jesus that Wells is such a stud.
Ryan... were in a fight.